At the bank trying to Refinance.

How many people are going through at least a piece of this scenario below?

Scum Banker: “No, you cannot refinance. Your credit score is too low.”

Living the American Dream: “Yes and it’s going to get a lot lower if you don’t refinance and drop my monthly payment.”

Scum Banker:“I’m sorry, even if your credit was perfect we couldn’t refinance you because you don’t have enough equity in your home.”

Living the American Dream: “So you’re saying that you essentially won’t refinance the amount I owe because I don’t have enough equity even though I didn’t have ANY equity when you gave me the loan in the beginning?”

Scum Banker: “Yes. You see, we COULD refinance you but you would need Mortgage Insurance since you don’t have 20% Equity. The PMI will actually increase your monthly payment despite the drop in the Interest Rate.”

Living the American Dream: “But if I don’t have it on my current loan then why will I need it on my new loan.”

Scum Banker: “That’s to protect us in case you default.”

Living the American Dream: “But didn’t we just bail you out from everyone defaulting? Didn’t the government back your loans? Aren’t you still on the hook from me for the same amount now WITHOUT PMI?”

Scum Banker: “Yes. But that’s the rule and I’m sorry it’s not flexible. If you will excuse me I must get to an appointment. I’m having my Mercedes that I received as a Bonus from the Bank pimped out with pinstriping on the back that says $timulu$. You should come back next week and check it out. It’s going to be Money. It’s the 600 in the parking lot that with the License Plate that reads PMI MAN!”

Living the American Dream: “Really? Thanks for the invite I’ll be sure to swing by next week and check it out. I need to swing by Home Depot next week and pick up a Sledgehammer on Wednesday. Will it be back from the shop by then?”

Scum Banker: “It will! Come on in and I’ll give you a test ride if you like. Hey, would you be interested in opening a Money Market with us today? The Interest rate is 0.000000000000001 % which is above industry average and it comes with a free Koozie that says I Heart My Banker!”

Living the American Dream: “No, I’m going to have to pay for this Sledge Hammer to be engraved with I Kill My Banker and that is going to eat through some of my cash. See you Wednesday!”